Everyone at some point in their lives feels disconnected. Isolated and even lonely without trying. And this solitude – not the creative one, or the one from which we build something, but the debilitating one, has only one known cure.
Answer: Building bridges. If sometimes burning bridges to hurtful connections and bad places could be the answer, other times, building them is the only answer.
There’s a current movement now about finding your tribe and running with it, and I am very fond of the idea. A fit tribe will allow you to grow, heal, create and will accept your need for solitude when necessary, without even trying to understand it. Because we do not need to understand the other in order to accept him/her. Because of love. That pure and genuine love, in all its splendour.
Love one another. So simple, yet so confusing, so hard, so badly understood.
Love one another.
But hear me out. This concept of love that generates acceptance and opens the heart towards the goodness in others is what this world is built upon. Free and unaltered love.
Once we open up and start building bridges to connect with our tribe, we’ll feel our hearts starting to fill with love.
Finding our people should not be hard, and yet, most of the times it is a daunting task. A real challenge. However, once we’re opening up we’ll be attracting people with the right kind of vibe and sooner or later we’ll be finding our tribe. That I can promise you, and I do not make promises lightly.
But why this need for connection? People are not made to be alone. Okay, not all of us are made for big groups of people, socializing can be harder than self-imposed solitude. But a well-tailored group, of people with the same vibe, can bring a plus in our lives, a bigger plus than the solitude could ever bring.
In this -let’s call it – tribe, each person has something to offer, something so unique there is none other in the whole world able to even come close, something that would do an amazing job filling out some empty holes in our lives. Each member of the tribe has some lessons to teach, some ideas to spread and a beautiful story to tell. We can learn from every person in our life, that is true… Some are there to teach us hard lessons, heartbreak, sorrow and pain. And then there are those, those precious people ready to teach us about compassion, genuineness, love, growth, faith, surviving, hope, magic, truth, acceptance and little, but important things.
These people will open our eyes to see beyond the veil of the mundane world. With them, we will understand what this world is meant for, what our own paths are and our reasons for living are.
It can start with small things, like a conversation in the attic, tucked away in the Grund of Luxembourg, watching snow covering the houses and churches around us. It can start with a text sent with something inspirational following up an old conversation. It can start in tears and end in laughter, or the other way around. But at the end of it, when we’re all alone with our thoughts, we feel we grew a little. We feel a tiny speck of faith and hope born deep in our souls. A tiny seed growing in our minds.
And after a while, we’ll feel the need to follow that tiny speck of change or to crush it back into non-existence. Resist the urge to silence your conscience! That is a life lesson I have learned the hard way. Our conscience is so in touch with the wonders of this world so in tune with the vibration of energy surrounding us, part of the universal and one true truth, that we should never gag it. Instead, we should listen closely and follow it.
It will eventually lead to the need for meaningful connections. For people with whom we can talk without feeling judged, with whom we can share without feeling unheard. For people who will share their story dead on, without fear, guilt or worry, as they have been there, and, more important, they have passed it.
And then we’ll feel the urge to be better. To do better. To grow and to be happy with our lives.
Last month I wrote about Time. Finding the time, managing it and growing. And I mentioned choosing a word for 2019 and building around it. Have you done that? You so should!
My word for this year is Rebirth. There are many of us out there with the same need. Desire. Intention. And that without even knowing one another. What is even more fascinating is talking to your friends and finding out they somehow chose the same word as you.
Here’s the food for thought for this month.
Allow yourself time to listen to your conscience. Listen hard. Listen without blocking your thoughts. Listen without judging your thoughts.
Open yourself up. Let the light in. Let the good vibes in and breathe deeply. Allow yourself to good thoughts and good vibes.
Look around. See if there are people out there doing the same. Opening themselves. You’ll see them, you’ll know them.
Reach out. I know it is hard. I know it may lead to another hard lesson. I know it may lead to heartbreak and sorrow. Do it anyway.
Bask in that newly found connection. Test it. Talk about it. See how deep it can go.
Repeat step 4 and 5 until you have a whole tribe vibing the same way.
Bring the people together for tea and discussions. Something sweet will work wonders.
Find discussions, activities, things you can do together and draw up a plan. Not detailed, leave room for that conscience to take the lead.
Enjoy the results coming out of it.
I confirm this post has 1000 word, as WordPress knows how to count, of my own making.
The Story of Time
The Story of Time -January Essay
Time is a weird concept. It can be measured in seconds, minutes, moments, memories, breaths, feelings, laughter, words, songs and books. The best spent time, however, is that one we do not measure. We do not feel passing.
Time well spent is the one that turns into memories.
Remember that time when…I wish I could turn back the time… Time waits for no man…
But it does exist. As in nature’s course, there is time for different activities. There is a time for everything.
It is important to recognize where we are in every moment while we are alive. And respect it. Perhaps for some is a time of growing or of planting, maybe sowing, for others is a time for dancing, laughing or perhaps breaking down. We must acknowledge that time and honour it.
We must not await time out.
Some of us have been waiting for something all our lives. For a sign, a certain day, a certain season, or even for a certain mood. For something exterior to validate and motivate our internal wishes and desires. Oh, how much time have we wasted waiting for the weekend. Or for money, love, inspiration, summer, a better life, a better exchange rate.
And how frustrated we’ve become with every second waiting and waiting and seeing nothing changes.
Nothing will change, however, with that mindset. Because time is our own commodity of our own making.
Pondering now on how January is almost at the ending and New Year’s Resolutions and wishful thinking started already to dull their light, and we find ourselves again at our old antics, again on the run, again restless, at war with ourselves. Or even worse, stuck, uninspired, unmoved, cold and lifeless. Feeling unworthy of goodness. Undeserving. Fake. Impostors. Not good enough. Simply not enough.
There is a reason for that. And it is simple. The time for resolutions, wishes upon a star, on the New Year’s fireworks, on a birthday cake, on a dandelion, on a shooting star (and so on) is over. All gone!
Some very wise men once said- The time is gone, the song is over. (check it out here). To paraphrase them I would say that the time is gone, the waiting is over!
That time is over.
It is done!
We’ve dreamt it. We’ve wished for it. We’ve longed for it. We’ve even prayed for it and manifested it. That is great, but enough.
Now it is the time to do it.
We should start with what we can. Changing that mind frame. Working on an idea, or a seed of an idea. With the first step- be it a word, a flower, a 5 minutes meditation, a 76-form Tai Chi routine, a sequence of Sun Salutation, 10 minutes walk, an apple, a healthy dinner, ironing 1 shirt, 6 cycles of deep breathing, calling 1 person, 10 min hike, writing 2 emails, texting back, throw away just 1 piece of junk, recycle 2 papers, plant a tree, say no to one plastic straw or even just by saying Hi to someone we’ve been meaning to get in touch with again.
Without pressure, without expectations, without analyzing (or overanalyzing- hey, I’m feeling your pain, my friend!), without beating yourself up, without guilt.
Start our first month of this blessed year with a word. Chosen wisely. And enwrap ourselves in it. Build around it, plant around it, dance around it. You get my point.
How can we make the most of this year by reporting all our actions around a word? By calling it a call to action. A hope. A dream. A wish…
Picking our theme for the year and then working towards that goal. With small steps, with big leaps of faith, with both.
As long as at the end of the year we will have something to “quantify” and measure our growth, we’re on the right path.
Food for thought and soul:
Do you feel restless (go to the thesaurus and pick any of the following: antsy, agitated, anxious, fidgety, UNPEACEFUL) or perhaps, au contraire… you are just stuck, uninspired, humdrum, indifferent, desolate, dulled, LIFELESS? Do you want to change that? Then pick your dream word. It can be a word, a phrase, a saying, a chapter, an entire book series if you want. Write it down. (disregard this step if it is an entire fantasy trilogy concerning hobbits or a seven book series with muggles in it)
Do you want more, something else, something different, anything at all? Even if it means to shake yourself a bit. (*the correct answer is YES!) Can you link it somehow to your dream word?
Thinking about what you want to achieve (you know what it is), what would be the first step?
Why aren’t you doing it? (*list your fears, worst-case-scenarios, insufficiencies, motivations or lack of them)
What would it take to convince you to do it? (*insert any type of bribe here- I suggest you think big! I mean, you’re only trying to convince yourself. So you have to be smart and creative and use all the arsenal you have. You know yourselves so it will be easy. I know bribing only goes this far, it is sometimes frowned upon, even considered the bane of our own existence, but- hey, I said no guilt, haven’t I?)
Breathe. Deep, for at least 6 cycles. Repeat if necessary.
Ignoring, or in spite of step # 3, take step #2+ step #4 and START.
Keep going. Until you’re done. Or moved. Or calmer. Or happier. Then, on to the next step. It may (or may not) get easier with every step.
Optional -tell your friends about it. You can start with me. Afterall we’re a part of a small tribe, right? We’re building here a small village fit for a tribe of awesomeness.
Sending my love out there to you, darlings.
Until next time, let’s keep in touch!
Post Scriptum: For those counting words, I confirm my essay has now 1000 words as WordPress knows to count.